Lettre de mon moulin (à paroles) à quelqu'un qui m'a laissé sans voix

Cher William,

...

A

Thank you my badoune for being there, no matter what. I love you.

When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart,"but rather,"I am in the heart of God."

And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. 

Garçon! One Pink Martini s'il vous plait.

The Sensational 80s

With time one does not only gain experience but also becomes proportionally idiotic. I have been senselessly foolish to create a universe of my own in my head, that which people usually call dreams but which are mere fantasies, weird ones. 

I am caught somewhere between the sky and the ground, listening to Little lies by Fleetwood Mac.

Years ago I ruined my tape by overplaying a 'Best of' of this legendary band. I discovered 'Rumours' very late in time and though the album is an absolute feast, Tango in the night was the album which I had a soft corner for. I was 14 and could not stop listening to Little lies and Everywhere. Christine McVie's voice worked magic on these timeless records. But then so does Stevie Nick's voice when I hear the first notes of Dreams from the Rumour album. It is so hauntingly beautiful. 1987 was also the year I came across Suzanne Vega's Luka. Sadly, it took me a whole decade to understand the full meaning of the lyrics.

Looking back, I remember no internet, no mobile, no cable tv, no fm, no digital camera. The following are the fondest souvenirs of my teenage years:

- Listening to my all time favorite gal on the air - Dame Marguerite Labat and her Chronique de L'Etrange
- Intercollege Games at Rose-Hill stadium
- Summer holidays at Pointe D'Esny - the crystal clear lagoon and the serenity on the beach
- The smell of the yellowish pages of old bibliotheque verte books
- amar chitra katha comics and litchi trees at barkapapa's place
- dad bringing us to Le Printemps bookshop - marvel comics and gaston lagaffe
- the badminton tournaments & saturday training sessions
- jogging at colline candos - my adidas with fluo laces
- Vicky, my teenage inspiration
- waiting for the mcgyver episode 
- exchange of the first 'billets doux'
- diva dancing to madonna's "into the groove" & mj's BAD in front of the mirror 
- school concerts, fancy fairs, classical music concertos at conservatoire francois mitterand
- shows and plays at plaza
- hiding porn magazines inside schoolbook covers
- climbing on the huge mango tree in the garden and whistling to passers on the street
- waiting for the kulfi malai vendor on his bicycle on hot summer nights (marssand paink painkoo)
- scaring the shit out of my little cousin with stories of bolomm sounga...lol
- my cousin Antish staying over during holidays
- the total blast with my sister while my parents were abroad
- saving up to buy the latest smash hits issue
- football on the street with the kids of the neighbourhood
- rides on my chopper and bmx
- speciales vacances outings
- cheap tickets at cinema royal
- cheating on my grades mark in my report book
- french literature class at school - how passionate our teacher was
- desperately trying to understand anything in additional maths class
- desperately trying to understand the chemical reactions inside my own body
- watching Queen perform at live aid and totally understanding that a part of the history of music was being written
- watching Big League Soccer and supporting Liverpool FC

Yes, I remember the frenzy energy of the 80s as opposed to my sloth and torpor when it came down to studying. Things were not always easy but words will never be able to describe how happy I felt growing up in an era where pop culture and style gave a sense of freedom to people and as much as I was fulfilled then, I still look forward everyday to enjoying all the aspects the present has to offer, namely in love. and if there is anyone out there reading this, i hope you could help me figure out what cos, sin and tan is about. Qui voudrait mourir idiot?

Les mots qui font une vie

- Désillusions
- Déceptions amoureuses
- Cinéma
- Voyages
- Tourisme
- Zone de confort
- Sexualité
- Bouddhisme
- Reiki
- Blind faith
- Amour
- Words,words,words
- Famille
- Lire
- Ego
- Potentiel

Et si j'étais arrivé au bout de mon écriture et que je n'avais plus rien à dire?
Quel courage cela requiert-il d'aller chercher encore plus loin en soi pour ensuite venir se ré-inventer?

Les livres, les films, les gens, la religion, l'expérience, les blessures, tout, absolument tout me ramène à la même et unique conclusion: Le bonheur se résume simplement à rendre les autres heureux tout en se suffisant émotionellement à soi-même. La voilà mon ultime, mon unique vérité.

Se déconstruire, se reconstruire, désapprendre, réapprendre, se déformater, se reformater.

1er février - Commémoration de la libération des esclaves

Je voudrais pouvoir me libérer de la personne que je suis afin de devenir la personne que je suis.

Je demeure dans un état "d'esprit es-tu là?" avec mes humeurs enclavés dans mes émotions.

Je suis point de bascule qui oscille entre electron libre et mots interdits.

Je

Je

Je

Effacer ce 'Je' de ma vie en me réveillant et être enfin libre.