Ma vitrine toute propre

Comme souvent, je me retrouve devant une page blanche, ne sachant pas trop quoi ecrire. Et ce malgre une envie bel et bien presente de donner un sens a ma vie. Ne dit-on pas que le blocage est un signe, que cela veut tout simplement dire que ce que vous allez ecrire est mauvais et qu'il vaut mieux vous arreter et passer a autre chose. Je n'ai aucun sujet a traiter, mes mots ne trouvent aucune resonance nul part et tout ce que je ponds n'a, j'en suis conscient, aucun fil conducteur. Ce ne sont que des bribes d'une vie avec comme seule constante mes etats d'ames. L'irresolue equation d'avoir une vie mis au rancart du souvenir.

Je me cache derriere tout ce que le monde a a dire avec mon blog et ma page Instagram meme si je m'autorise parfois certains ecarts; une opinion, un jugement,  une conclusion.

Il se trouve que, dans cette joyeuse cacophonie, je suis tombe sur quelqu'un qui me lit. Un certain Dave qui m'a partage le commentaire suivant apres avoir vu ma page Instagram:

- I already had access to your world of heartbeats. Now it's your world of vision and moments.

'your world of heartbeats' ...Saura-t-il un jour comprendre que tout ce qu'il perçoit n'est qu'une infime partie de ce que je veux bien laisser transparaitre. Tout le reste, demeurera a jamais hors de portee. Ce blog n'est au fond qu'une memoire selective qui trie, inspecte et affiche uniquement ce qui a besoin d'etre expose dans la vitrine.

Qu'en est-il de ma part d'ombre?

Under the February Sun

The temperature keeps rocketing and I ask myself how I am surviving it. I think it peaked at 37c on Tuesday. The humidex indicated 55c for those living in the south east, almost a heat stroke.
The air was so warm that, at times, I felt like suffocating.

Thomasz is back to NYC and he messengered me, asking me to come over. He would like us guys - the Filipino, the Polish, the Puertorican and the Mauritian - to reunite for a sequel to our bar hopping night in south Manhattan. I have the fondest souvenir of that unusual evening where I bonded with total strangers. When I think about that trip again, I remember boarding that SA plane fully excited but a bit apprehensive too. Then, everything started unfolding naturally as my path crossed those of nice and genuine people right from day 1 in the big apple. Was it sheer luck or the fact that it was written in the stars?

I introduced Vimla to Vimla last Tuesday. I am thinking it can help.

King called me last evening and he sounded very strange on the phone. I am not sure whether he was drunk or if something got into him but he started telling me weird things about my celibacy status which made me feel a bit uncomfortable, That got me thinking about my actual state of relationship with people around me. For sure, he means well but it’s funny when people decide what’s best for you without even consulting you.

Patrice surprised me about his threesome story yesterday.
- 'Look at us! We're in our 40s and nothing has changed. You, still having sexual experiences, me still being a sentimental jerk who believe in romantic love. All this time gone and back to square one we are’  was my reaction.
Then he told me yet another unbelievable story about how a client of his has offered him a trip to Monaco and the Italian riviera this coming August. Scary, fishy and awesome at the same time. I asked him to be cautious though

I heard this strange story about my dad and this episode of him falling in love with another woman in India. That occured in 1987. It got me smiling as that probably explains my polyamorous nature.

My brother is exploring south China with his family. I sometimes wish I had a family of my own I could travel with.

A cyclone warning number 1 has been issued this morning and all I keep thinking about is how to get a grasp on my growing feelings for Antish.