Grosse déprime

Qu'est-ce qui me fait oublier le temps écoulé sinon la danse obsédante des moustiques?

Il fait chaud, j'ai le blues et tout ce que j'ai est ici, dans l'étouffement de cette chambre.

Ma vie ressemblerait-elle à un film de Terence Malik où les courants de deux fleuves géants se percutent et tournent à n'en plus finir pour ensuite lentement couler sans but vers un horizon lointain?

Elle est tour à tour rituel et rumeur sans jamais vraiment être limpide.Je ne vibre plus aux sons des rêves des autres, je suis d'un ennui féroce et il ne s'agit plus que de moi et de moi et toujours de moi. Quand sortirai-je de cette torpeur? 

La simplicité de la vie me manque.

Film de serie B

Is there a place beyond right and wrong where I can think things over these days? within a few weeks I have witnessed how people's egos could bring a company down to its knees. i am not very certain about my own professional future in this very company for which I have been working for the past eleven years. i woke up one morning only to discover a total upheaval and to realize that it was time to explore new avenues. not a believer in the concept of 'greener pastures', i prefer instead to think in terms of experiencing life from a different angle.
i hear whispers in corridors and everyone telling me to be careful about everyone, i hear about microphones being placed at the office and phone calls being taped, i listen to people lying bluntly in view of protecting their shares, i see uncertainty and doubts, i see ambition and 'moves', i see people faking to be hurt when they are not and  i simply tell myself that this must be quite normal in these times of hardships. i also ask myself whether i really belong to this place somehow.the situation went bezerk and suddenly there is something terribly wrong somewhere. so far i have not been able to identify what it is exactly but deep within i know that with time i will put my finger on it. question is: how long will this bad joke last?
i feel like having a supporting role in a B serie movie, the predictable type, with a twisted plot and a bad ending.