The aftermath

We have finally reached the end of confinement. It took us 72 days to get there. It comes as a relief for most of us and for many a time to celebrate reconnect with dear ones. For some, however, it is also the start of a journey of anguish and uncertainties.

The sun does shine beautifully on this mother's day but I can't help feeling that there is a grim side taunting us as well. It just feels odd to be back to 'normal' since normality is being redefined on a daily basis now; one bringing in its sway economic difficulties coupled with emotional strain and blurriness. It is as if, all of a sudden, we have come to realize that the winding road to re-energize our souls seems longer and narrower than we had initially thought. 

We have survived lockdown and at the same time left a few feathers on the battlefield. 10 persons have died, many families left with scars and we very well know that all that a war can achieve can never be enough to replace all the losses it involves. Having been able to succeed in containing the spread of the virus does not make of us champions. It certainly makes us better off as compared to the rest of the planet and provides us with greater chances and opportunities to start afresh. Yet, the question remains: On an individual basis, will we choose to live a simple life or a hedonistic one thereon? Where does our sustainable future lie?

I had enough leisurely time to write on my blog and post on instagram these past 2 months. I did not feel like doing it though parce que le coeur n'y était pas. Instead, I did buddhist prayers, intense meditations and practices on a daily basis. I feel I have progressed a lot in this field. I have discovered that our mind has the ability to continually change its structure and function in response to new training experiences. A fulfilled life is not made of an uninterrupted succession of pleasant sensations but really comes from the way that we understand and work through the challenges of our existence.

One day I read the Arya Sanghata Sutra at one go and felt a profound change occuring in me. It gently led me to the understanding of how important it is to know how to relate to our surrounding while peeling our pure intellect and applying its different functions. Such a quiet and gentle eye-opener. I have been making strange dreams since then.

I also showed a lot of interest in the family tree, went looking for old pictures in all the drawers of the house, asked innumerable questions to my mum and went through the stories written by my dad in his letters, diaries and books. Skeletons were brought out of the closet and shameful anecdotes told to me in a whispering voice. It was as if I had a large piece of canvas on which I was trying to rebuild a puzzle. All in all, it shed a light on the dim corners of our existence and made it clear to me that I cannot shut down the memory of the past. What is important is to free myself from the involvement I can have with the shady sides of this past...

I am bringing Antish for a long drive today. I want to show him places which have very recently started holding a special place in my heart, the place where my father grew up. Who knows what kind of surprise will await us there?

Roti, Kapda aur Makaan

Confinement - Day 44 : ✔

Ask me how it is going and I'll tell ya 'pretty good' given the present circumstances. I have food, I have shelter, I have clothes...roti, kapda aur makaan as Manoj Kumar would put it. Yet finding mid-term security and stability seems to be compromised as I am to become jobless in a few days. Should that be a subject of worry? not necessarily. Of concern maybe, one which does not involve unnecessary stress or strain. After all, what have I learned from life all these years if not to expect the unexpected?

I have a few projects running through my mind and that's already a positive start. By now we are all aware that the whole world is going to change post covid-19 and if one does not get into the starting blocks right away, chances are that many of us may lose our bearings and end up into a chaotic race for survival. To see conditioned things as they are, accept that change is inevitable and consider that it could be an opportunity to discover oneself through unleashing a hidden potential shouldn't be that scary unless leaving that comfort zone would seem too painful.

During my short passage at Rogers, I would often hear the managers talk about agility during the work sessions. An adjective which formed part of the new motto of the company after its re-branding. More than ever I think that could be of good use. To handle the coming situation with deftness is all I need to keep me afloat and though I am very much aware that I will be vulnerable, that financial risks will have to be taken at some point, how will I ever know if I don't go at it? Everything is changing. Only those who have a set of eyes  capable of seeing beyond conventions, beyond defined biases, beyond status will understand the bigger message.

This time last year, we were getting prepared to fly to Rodrigues and life never seemed happier. This year, countless deaths around the globe, economic crisis and no job. Despite this terrible situation I have the love of my family, the encouragement of friends and the indefectible support of my love, one which keeps the flame in me burning and gives me enough inspiration, courage and confidence to stand up to my upcoming responsibilities and to integrate this new self of mine into my whole being.