The Wait

 

The song goes " Why does this happen in life that suddenly after someone leaves, the heart remembers every little thing about them?"

Looking, searching, planning.

I am very much of a loner these days. 

The news bulletins on tv keep bombarding us with depressing images; melting of glaciers, aggressions, heat waves, floods, inflation, war in Ukraine, the atrocities committed on Catholics in Nigeria and, not later than this morning, the assassination of the ex-prime minister of Japan. Kalyug, kalyug mo dire ou. People say that destruction and chaos have existed on this planet since the dawn of times, that struggles were actually worse during eras where crusades and slavery pervaded, the only variation today being the torrential images of afflictions that smash you right in your face day in, day out.

And yet, in this mad, mad world Antish and I have somehow managed to create a space of our own where we laugh at simple things. Not one single evening where we went to bed without a smile in our respective hearts after talking to each other. How I miss diving into those glowing hazelnut eyes of his when he laughs! 

The only thing that fuels me is listening to melancholic Italian music and preparing our forthcoming trip. I secretly portray us visiting Paris together, walking at our own pace with me as usual leading the way and him slowly strolling behind, venturing in the small alleys near the canal Saint Martin or walking down Prévert's street at La Place du Tertre with an accordion playing in the background, eventually ending up at the foot of the Eiffel Tower at sunset as the latter elegantly draws out it gown of glittering lights and finally getting pleasantly lost as we try to find our way back home.

The second option would be a milestone that would carry us to that one step above in our spiritual life to a dwelling never even imagined. This would translate into attending a teaching by HH the 14th Dalai Lama at Dharamshala. The travels that are truly impactful are the ones where reality surpasses dreams and from time to time one does have to deliberately choose where one's future is to take place. We fall in love with people as we fall in love with life-changing moments. Our thirst remains unquenched and we yearn for more. India may not have the sophistication of Europe but there is a tanginess to it that the latter will always lack.

Well, we'll see, both continents are packed with hidden treasures anyway and whatever comes along, we'll just open up to the experience that manifests (even better if it comes with a good laugh).