How do you measure your own worth?

Dear Ash,

What have you been learning all these years?
What would you do differently if you could turn back time?

I would not mean to pry and, mind you, there is no self-pity & no self-indulgence implied here; only the bare reality of who you are and what you have accomplished.

The result is not very brilliant, right? Hmmm

Back to basics:
What is it that you are the proudest of, Ash?
...
Honestly? Nothing?
...

I wish I could list down here a few things that I am really proud of but there are none I can think of.
On the other hand, when it comes down to listing things I am ashamed of, well, that's another story. A much easier exercise.

I am ashamed not having been able to hear Kers when he was calling out for me.
I am ashamed for not being able to nurture a sane relationship with Kal, the person I care the most about in this world. I am so sorry Kal but I am a walking bomb and being in my company is not safe for you. That will not help you in your search for a stable relationship. I just need to make sure you are in safer place than me. It's the least I can do for you who have been such a wonderful friend. I hope one day you understand that I am trying to protect you here, not harm you.
I am ashamed of my dysfunctional relationship with my sister, ashamed of not trying hard enough.
I am ashamed of not having been able to make my father proud of me the way the other siblings did.
I am ashamed of not having been mature enough to let go when Hash and Sim had already switched off.
I am ashamed of being such a sentimental jerk who does not understand anything about love.

Now, referring to the above question about pride and bringing it one notch down (I ought to be a little bit more indulgent here) it goes something like this:

Ash, Is there anything you have done in your life that makes you proud of yourself?
...

Seriously, there must be at least one.
...

You know what,? Go to bed, just go and get some sleep.
You are getting fuckingly annoying here.