Bridging Generations

Where does my role as an uncle begin? Where does it end? That's the question that has been lingering in my mind lately.

As expected, handling Jay is no easy task. He is a total maze both for himself and for us. That said, Mike is totally right: "When Jay fails in achieving an objective he has set for himself, this is where the trouble begins". It's generally hard to deal with failure or rejection but in his case, leaving Mauritius as the golden child to end up in an oppressive environment where failure to shine within set parameters automatically stigmatizes you as a nobody has damaged him beyond limits. And the struggle here is to deal both with him and his dad altogether and that also in the most cautious way possible while at the same time keeping an eye on Sujata's stability. Now, tell me about juggling...

As time progresses, so do the dynamics of family relationships and we suddenly need to engage in 'important' conversations to connect on deeper levels. Our lives have taken divergent paths over the years and it's not always easy to relate to people who are constantly exposed to foreign environments and cultures like my brother's family is and those who are starting to navigate into the complexities of adulthood like Sid and Mayuri. Each and everyone of them has to pursue personal aspirations and there is gap which naturally arises in this process. 

Yesterday I had a long conversation with Sid who recently shared with me that according to a tarot reader spirituality is what is missing in his life. He is in search of more serenity and is yet to find it. As the conversation unfolded, it was not a one-way street, I shared with him my perception of spirituality and also tried to understand why he categorizes everything into channels: body, mind and soul.
His life is like this perfectly-written script where there should be no space left for imperfections or ugliness. I know how to take care of my body and nourish my mind so now, I need to know how to deal with the soul part. Well, it's all very nice trying to control all the parameters in your life Sid but what if you simply allowed life to happen to you instead? That was the only plausible answer I could come up with. Maybe that's where spirituality will emerge and everything will start making sense to him. I personally think Sid still lacks maturity and is stuck in that phase where he feels superior to others. This feeling of superiority in him manifests in subtle condescension. He cannot be bothered exchanging with us when we gather as the level is too 'lowly' and the conversations not interesting enough. What prevents him from instigating a conversation though? He might be surprised and even learn a few things. We may not have the answer to everything but for sure we have something called experience which plays in our favor and should not be disregarded. The desire to maintain his status can drive him to undermine and belittle those he perceives as inferior perpetuating a toxic cycle of hierarchical thinking. Not everyone has the same level of intellect but that does not mean some people are inferior to others. I am afraid that if Sid does not react on that, in time this may cause an erosion in meaningful relationships in his life and he might end up very alone and lonely. For anything in the world, I pray his fate does not throw him in that same space of darkness as his dad's.

I don't why but I feel a bit outdated, obsolete these days. I feel I belong to another generation where my perspectives appear to lag behind the requirements of the current one. There are things I can do, things I cannot do and others I simply don't want to do. There's no self-doubt or insecurity inhabiting me as such, just this vague feeling of inadequacy and not being able to understand why people are so self-centered. Is selfishness a response to feelings of insecurity and fear? Instead of us trying to embrace adaptability I just wish the younger generation could be more attentive to what is happening to people in their immediate environment and understand the implications of being kinder, more caring and empathetic instead of whirl winding into their own paranoia.