I have been given a job offer under very strange circumstances where it has nothing to do with my competencies. I am suddenly having bad thoughts about the people knowing that the bare truth is that I am being manipulated. I hate this feeling of thinking bad about people but I can't feel comfortable at all with the process they used to get at me.
Everything happening to me has been uncanny this year, I never truly felt I belonged anywhere or to anyone and not talking to Kalim is a sadness I have to carry with me every single day.
My eyes open a little more each day when I measure how much Kers never loved me. He was so busy thinking about a scheme to get of our relationship that he never thought about the collateral damage that would ensue.
This month of November has been the most painful one of the year; nightmares about Kers almost every night, missing Kalim, a (unjustified) horrible feeling of loneliness and rejection, scared by the terrorist attacks in Paris and worried for Mike and his family, uncertainties regarding my professional future, unable to bond with old friends, my brother breaking the news that he is leaving for abroad for the next 3 years, learning about Devi didi's stroke and critical situation at the hospital, dealing with Zulfi's semi-breakdown... ENOUGH NOW!
Shake it up Ash, this life of yours is requesting some spices!
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