There's a drama going on

When friends send you whatsapp messages like 'enjoy every moment in your life.today's beautiful moments are tomorrow's beautiful memories' how come they forget to complete it with ' ...and today's ugly  moments are tomorrow's sadnesses'?

An unexpected and dramatic situation occurred last sunday, leaving me perplexed and making me lose my bearings. I found myself in the middle of a terrible family clash where words of hatred and bitterness have been expressed leaving everyone profoundly hurt and sad. I tried as hard as possible not to take sides but the crisis eroded into something which went beyond us all. The worse is when you realize that you are trapped into a dangerous landslide and that you have lost control of the situation. I have had to take a stand against family members I am deeply attached to and where did this all lead me? Well, to leave the battlefield, angry, frustrated, feeling rejected, unwanted and unwelcome into a house where doors had always been opened for me.

A week has elapsed and I haven't been able to get a proper sleep.I have gone for long walks on the beach by the sunset trying to pacify my heart and let out all this angst inside of me.I am not able to share my feelings with any of my closest friends.

I managed to reach Kiran this week and after talking to him, I felt even worse (as if that was possible). Our conversation was strange and surreal. I felt as if he was disappointed in me at so many levels. He made me feel that our friendship was supposed to be better than what it actually is, that I was supposed to be straight and a better man.

There is so much turmoil in my head and chaos in my heart right now...