Brings me to the delicate case of Kalim.14 years of never really being able to pull the plug has exhausted me. Yes, it is draining to be attached that much to someone and not be on the same wavelength with that person.Our views differ and the irrational part of me always gave in when it came down to him. At one point, he needed help to find his equilibrium and I became part of a long healing process.I helped as much as I could, it turned out that it worked out positively and that set him right back on track.He found his equinox.
Kalim can shout as much as he wants today, he can come up with all sorts of theories, the truth remains that despite all his efforts, there is nothing he can do about this back and forth relationship of ours. It is indeed sad to reach that stage (again!) where loving feelings weigh only in one part of the balance. I have probably undergone the most vulnerable moment of my life this year after my break up and I am so ever grateful to him for having been there for me. There is nothing he can blame himself for. He provided me with a shoulder to lean on and the fact that we have always been more than friends confused me. Aaagggghhhh, classic story! guy missing his bf so much that he swaps his affection to an 'ex'. I guess I just wanted to matter.
So, where we do we go from there? How do I become my own doctor and cure myself from this state of being once and for all? How do I remove the blindfold and reach my equinox?
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